tell me why
i didn't miss you
i didn't want you
i didn't care for you
so tell why i need you
blame it on me
"Sometimes you can work it out...
Sometimes you can't...
Sometimes you're forced to watch everything fall apart inside of your hands...
Sometimes leavin' is easy...
Sometimes it ain't...
Sometimes it hurts to know the loving you had was slowly fading away...
You can say whatever you like...
As long as we just say goodbye...
Blame it on me...
Say it's my fault...
Say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart..
I really don't care...
I ain't cryin no more...
Say I'm a liar a cheater...
Say anything that you want...
As long as it's over..."
-Chrisette Michele
well the words to this song are so true sometimes i had to force myself to things go but its a good thing i did cause i had almost forgotten wht being happy was. i mean you may be mad at me but trust its for the best
so fly
there she was just standing at first i was jealous but then i realize she may have what i want but she will never have what i want and thats my flyness
US
it's like i woke up and there you were...
everything that happened in the past no longer matters...
it's like we started life over...
what happened to me...
to you...
to us...
gone...
over...
through...
it disapeared along with the "it"...
the "it" that tried...
tried to take it all...
gone...
gone forever...
there was a battle where i was taken...
but then in the war you saved me and took me into your arms...
you didn't try to mold me like the others...
you were diffrent and so was i...
everything gone ...
the only thing left standing was...
you and me...
the only thing left was us.
US!!!
what if
im not going yo put the whole thing on here because i plan on getting it published so heres a sneak peak...
what if i just gave up on you
what if one day you told the truth
what if i saw what you see
what if you were really inlove with me
what if my life wasnt so strange
what if i were up for a change
like i said this is just a sneak peak you will be seeing this soon
smile
um well sometimes you get brought down so heres what i have to say...
"you never let em see his way dont want them to think the pain runs deep. lord knows its killin' me. and so i put on my makeup put smile on my face. and if anyone asks me everything is ok. im laughong cause no one knows the joke is oncause im dieing inside with my pride and a smile onmy face. singing la la la..."
tamia
thats it for today
no title today
today is a bood day
flaws and all
"im a trainwreck in the morning. im a b***h in the afternoon every now and then without warning. i can be really mean towards you."
i love that song:
i look at my life and i finally love what i see.
i can finally look in the mirror and love the sight of me.
whatever made me act the way i did doesn't matter anymore.
because i know that in my future and present theres lots of good things in store.
life for me seems like well a piece of cake.
my love for myself no one can ever again take.
i dont blame how i was feeling on anybody else.
im more of a person never less.
that thing that had me will never come back in my life.
because flaws and all i am beautiful i love myself i really do.
flaws and all i know now i can finally love you
no longer
ok im no longer letting anybody control me and im no longer going to be known as lazy
npthing to say
wow for the first time in a long time i have nothing to say
why
im crazy and im proud of it im single and happy to be by myself im me and thats all i need to be right so why are people trying to change mewhy make me wish i was someone else why make me feel bad about who i am why do it it's stupid
YESTERDAY
"i just cant believe your gone still waiting for morning to come. wanna see if the sun will rise even without you by my side.when we had so much in store. tell me what is it im reaching for. when we're through building memoirs i'll hold yesterday in my heart. in my heart. they can take tomorrow and the plains we made. they can take the music that we'll never play. all the broken dreams take everything just take it away but they can never have yesterday."
that song is all i listen to now. i know its only a matter of time before i reunite with my old self and old life and everything in it.
"they can take the future. that well never know. they can take the places that we said we would go. all the broken dream take everything just ake it away but they can never have yesterday"
me and it
help me to breath help me to see who i am. cuz this thing that you see is so not me. she dispects herself. she dosen't know any better than to hurt herself. everything they do to her she already done. this thing i see in the mirror is me. it just cant be. she lies to herself. puts herself on the spot alows others to hurt her and steal what shes got. she is so strange. she death and blind. she dose nothing but hide. she isa coward and she hates herself this girl is me. she is who i become. im trapped in this body. i have no way out.. i cry but nobody can hear me. im afriad and alone. this place where i live cant be my home. the girl talk down abon is me. i want to excape from her. but i cant. both of us must want the same thing and thats the problem. this thing this new me can never agree. when i want out ti wants in. when i wanna leave she wants to stay. when i say no she says yes. help me please help me take us apart. help me and it to excape each other.because it and me are no longer tha same we're diffrent. now were two not one but two. theres a me and now theres a it
i just cant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today i cant even talk about how i feel. i just cant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sweet freedom
okay alot has happened to me since my last entry. well im so diffrent. well the last thing i said was a lie. truth is i had stopped believeing there was a god. i guess i never believed there was never one. but then when had decided that there was no god and wouldn't mind talling anyone that something happened. i was in church and he spoke to me. he told me i aint gotta cry no more. all i had to do was come to him and so i did. and my pain and my worries were over. i was set free
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